It is so necessary to stop what you are doing, pause while you are continuing, leave when you have stayed, discard after its ruined, uninstall when it crashes. All these moments of abrupt change can be very retrospective. It is like removing cache files out of your system.

I recently stopped using my Instagram account. It has been 3 months now. In the beginning it almost felt like quitting smoking, which I haven’t managed till now. Anyway, I can’t find my self to delete it entirely because the reason I began using it was so pure, unlike the reason why I left it. It was my diary, like a memory box and probably the only app I installed on my phone back in 2011. I used to save moments, document them in a beautiful way. It encouraged me to see things differently and write smartly. I really liked using it until it started using me.

Now, I was seeing things as how they would look on Instagram and what would I say and how many people would like it. I photographed a moment not because it was special to me but because it would do well on Insta. My intension got corrupted. I would keep checking my phone and swiping down, double tapping pointlessly because it just how life became around me. Everyone is doing it. Everyone. It is about how many followers you had and likes you got. Now it is an e-commerce store in denial with advertising so well disguised that most people can’t tell. The worst part for me was the amount of times I found myself clicking pictures of me. yuck. Yuck. YUCK. In such sickening vanity of my selfies and stories, I missed the real me.

I wish people could realise how these things, these apps, these tiny squares that fit under our right thumbs are systematically alerting evolution, human behaviour and interactions. I have no doubts that eventually biology will adapt to these changes and in the future maybe we will born with bigger thumbs. 

I do miss looking at art, wildlife photography or and some other fascinating visual. But as an artist I know that it affects me the most. If my art or my work is influenced by how much it will be liked than I will never bloom as an artist. I also find it hard to stay original in such a space. But maybe this is how art is going to be, more accessible, more bold, more plagiarised. 

Someone, some startup out there, please make an app to install balance.